May 2025 Newsletter | 🧠 Political Avoidance and the Brain

My mission is to be the first woman in 4 generations to not develop Alzheimer’s Disease (AD). On my journey of discovering ways to mitigate my risk, I pass this information on to you in this Brain-Body-Health (BBH) Newsletter.

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Avoiding Politics? Why That Might Be Hurting Your Brain (and Your Relationships)

Hello Brain-Body-Health Citizen Scientists

How was your experiment into the land of “deep focus”? Were you able to designate time for your brain’s peak performance window (PPW)? I had several readers respond. Let me know how your experiments into the world of neuro-cognitive science are going. I’m doing one right now as I write this newsletter with my AirPods in, listening to 40 Hz Binaural Beats, phone alarms off, and the door to my studio shut.

Frankly, I’m finally beginning to understand how my brain and nervous system work together more efficiently when I am strategic about creating space for my PPW and my Default Mode Network (DMN), quiet time doing nothing. It works better with a certain amount of structure—not too much and not too little. 😉

Did you know there are as many different nervous systems as there are people in the world? We are all neurodiverse—each of us conducting our own thought experiments, learning the in’s and out’s about regulating or not regulating our brains and nervous systems.

Family Becomes a Mirror

A recent family gathering reminded me of how easily we can be triggered (nervous system off kilter heading for a cliff)—especially by the ones we love. Our family is, quite literally, a living example of ideological diversity. One part identifies as Atheist, another as Christian, and another to be determined (guess who that is, ha).

My brother showed off his new tattoo: a row of scripted a's around his arm representing the atheist symbol. My brother-in-law? He’s got a Bible verse on his. Over our heads, a flag flew proudly: Jesus has our vote.

We are not unique.

Like many, our family has faced the challenge of navigating differences. When our parents developed dementia, it threw us unprepared siblings into a line of fire. We had been avoiding conversations about our dyed-in-the-wool identities for years. Suddenly, it was no longer optional to avoid one another. It has been a steep and windy journey learning how to compromise, communicate, and find our way through the minefields of dementia. We weren’t close as kids or young adults, but the experience of caring for our parents changed that.

One friend shared something similar: “The only good thing to come out of this terrible disease was that I finally got closer to my siblings.”

When our family was in the thick of caregiving, our son still remembers the holiday when someone gave the atheist a religious book, who responded by throwing it across the room. We were in stress mode and in the “coming out” phase of our family’s grappling with our religious diversity. Emotions were running high, and we were running right along with them.

I’m reminded: what’s happening in our family is happening across the world.

Grow through what you go through.

Why Avoidance Might Be Hurting Us

Data suggests that a significant portion of families experience estrangement. Roughly 1 in 4 Americans are estranged from a family member. When I mentioned this statistic at lunch, the response was I thought you would say 1 in 2 or 3, 4 seemed generous. The reasons are complex, but political and ideological divides are increasingly common culprits.

“Never discuss religion or politics unless you’re looking for a fight.”

We’ve all heard it. And maybe lived it.

Families today face a flood of diversity: politics, religion, lifestyles, gender identity—and overwhelming information about it all. According to Dr. Karin Tamerius, a political psychiatrist with a background in political science, our inability to navigate difficult political discussions leaves us ill-equipped for modern life.

Avoidance doesn’t make us safer. It keeps us silent. It keeps us small. It erodes democracy.

I recently attended a webinar by Braver Angels—a nonprofit dedicated to bridging political divides—with Dr. Tamerius as the featured guest. She shared tools for advocating your beliefs with friends and family—without creating more division.

I’ll admit it: I’ve been avoiding political conversations, even with like-minded people. It just feels easier. But I’ve started to notice a growing discomfort—especially when progressive friends express hate. One even said, “I wish the bullet that grazed his ear hadn’t missed,” referring to President Trump.

That shook me.

What Happens in Our Brains When We Avoid Conflict?

From a neuroscience perspective, avoidance has real effects on our brains:

• Avoiding discomfort strengthens polarization—our brains categorize others as “good” or “bad,” leaving no room for nuance.

• This activates the sympathetic nervous system, increasing tension and emotional fragility.

• Our prefrontal cortex (PFC)—the part of the brain that helps us weigh pros and cons—weakens when we don’t use it.

• Dopamine pathways get hijacked by avoidance behaviors, making us more susceptible to addiction and novelty-seeking.

• Chronic avoidance dulls empathy and increases reactivity.

Connecting Avoidance, Polarization, and Hate

Avoidance may feel like a peaceful choice in the moment, but over time it can hardwire our brains for polarization. When we consistently sidestep discomfort, we lose the ability to engage with nuance. Our brains simplify the world into “us” vs. “them,” strengthening in-group/out-group thinking. This binary view suppresses empathy and primes us for dehumanization—a process that research shows is linked to hate. In short: avoidance doesn’t just disconnect us, it fertilizes the soil where hate can grow.

Hormesis: Exercising Our Conversational Muscles

Hormesis—a concept from biology—reminds us that a healthy dose of stress can be strengthening. Just like lifting weights builds muscle, staying present in mildly uncomfortable conversations can build emotional and cognitive resilience.

Avoidance trains anxiety. Engagement trains higher brain functions.

A Gentle Path Back to Engagement

You don’t have to dive into a political debate at your next dinner party. Start small:

• Ask a friend, “What do you value most when it comes to leadership or decision-making?”

• Practice listening without interrupting or defending (hard for me but practice makes good)

• Notice your nervous system. Are you tense? Breathe. Reset.

Engagement doesn’t have to mean conflict. It means staying present—even when it’s hard. For help, refer to the mindfulness tools in my February Newsletter.

Stay in the Conversation

Disagreement doesn’t have to mean disconnection. Political courage means staying open-hearted when it would be easier to shut down. (Think raising teenagers—your job is to see their goodness even in the dark times of discontent).

We can learn to communicate across differences. We can use our voices without shouting. In the words of Brené Brown, we can be vulnerable and strong.

Avoidance might feel like self-protection. But in the long run, it weakens our relationships—and our democracy.

A Politically Courageous Conversation

Katelyn Jetelina, an Epidemiologist, discussed a meeting with 3 other public health leaders and grassroot members of a Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) group. Take a look at this link

She was scarred. She was worried. Would this be a political ambush? She decided to “put on her big girl pants” and go.

Here were her goals:

• Listen 75% of the time

• Speak 25% of the time

Here's what she discovered: “We agreed to keep talking—and I intend to keep showing up. I’m still approaching this with a healthy dose of skepticism, but I also see cracks in the foundation—small, real openings where common ground exists.”

The first 5 of you will receive a paid subscription to Your Local Epidemiologist (YLE)—Katelyn’s Newsletter—when you tell me about a conversation using tools of engagement you’ve had with someone expressing a different point of view.

Ready to Start Tools

This one-hour, self-directed dialogue invites two participants to explore their interpretations of The Golden Rule, sharing personal experiences of success and challenges in embodying this principle.

For more details, check out the full overview!

A Final Thought

Avoidance feels like safety. But over time, it isolates us and weakens both our minds and democracy.

You don’t have to be loud to be engaged. You just have to be present.

“Avoidance doesn’t keep us safe—it keeps us stuck.”

Let’s get unstuck. Let me know how your thought experiments are going.

Want to try an experiment in political courage?

Let’s build a braver brain together. 🧠❤️

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My coaching sessions help navigate and improve brain health for you or a loved one. Contact me to schedule a session or talk to your organization.

My most recent talk on, “The Dementia Dilemma”, is now available to view.

To optimal health and peace for all!

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